Destination Weiler: This Girl Goes to Sea

All Aboard!

Last week I had the opportunity to accompany my husband on the annual Internet Marketer's Cruise. The day we departed was a mad dash between here, there and everywhere, but it all ended in a climactic rush of excitement as we boarded the boat. I felt amazing as it all settled in. I was leaving the country for the first time in my life (I don’t count Canada). I was going to be sailing on the open seas, and seeing new pieces in God’s gallery. I couldn’t take enough pictures.

We all gathered on the upper deck as we left the port and watched the horizon shrink into the distance. I’ve seen the world shrink as I went up up up in a plane, but never out out out into the ocean. I felt like I was inside of a postcard.

Miami, Florida., shrinking in the distance as the boat heads to international waters.

The first day was a mix of excitement and boredom. As practicing Mormons, we try to lay low on Sundays. At home, that means avoiding purchases, choosing not to work, and generally resting from a lot of the normal day-to-day hustle of the rest of the week. It’s meant to be a day for spiritual recharging and contemplation. Sometimes it’s a day of watching the clock. Our first day on the boat was more like the latter, as we were aware of the other kinds of excitement going on around us.

Monday, we threw ourselves into the cruise experience. That was our intention, anyway, but it felt more like buckshot. It was all a blur, and we did little together as a couple. Richard was there primarily for work reasons, and I was there to take a cruise.

So, what does a 30-year-old woman do on a giant cruise ship when left to her own devices? Go ahead – come up with an answer. I’ll give you a minute to think of something…. NOPE! You’re wrong. I went to go play Scattergories. (Apparently, I got the answer wrong, too, because there were no other 30-year-old people there.)

The Highlights of the Ship

Mmmm - what they said abou the food is true!

The one thing I’ve heard over and over about the cruise experience is the food. It really was pretty amazing – but that was measured more by its quantity than its quality. I have quite the sweet tooth, and each meal was accompanied by a large spread of gorgeous desserts. But sadly, they did not taste nearly as good as they looked. My first experience with that disappointment was with the caramel cheesecake. I’m not quite sure what it was made of, but I’m sure the ingredients did not include any caramel, cheese, or cake.

But there was food available 24/7 – including room service (which offered a slightly more edible version of cheesecake, by the way). I’m pretty sure I added a few more pounds to my berth, as I had to go to resort to my wardrobe’s Plan B by Friday night; I couldn’t squeeze into Plan A anymore.

I also enjoyed the entertainment options on the ship. There was a constant flow of live music events that had me giddy. Even music I don’t generally subscribe to has a different energy when you see it live; I love it. There was also a different headlining show each night – I laughed, I blushed, and I left happy.

This. Is. My. Husband.

Basically, there was ALWAYS something to do somewhere. They gave us a schedule for the next day’s events each night. I’d go through and circle all the things that interested me, then leave it out on the dresser so Richard would know where I was through the day.

There were a lot of amenities I didn’t take advantage of, like the hot tubs, pools, and some of the group activities, simply because they were just too crowded to enjoy. But for the most part, all of the time on the ship kind of blurs together. You eat, you sleep, you find entertainment, you eat, you sleep, etc. Richard was doing a lot of networking, so there was always that option, too. I went a few times, and met some neat people, but for the most part I did my own thing. Luckily, however, I actually enjoy alone time and I spent a lot of that time working on my novel.

When we were together, we made some new friends, and spent time with old ones. It was nice to see some familiar faces. One thing is certain - the internet marketing community is a small world. There were 470 of us on the ship (among over 3,000 travelers), and it was amazing how many faces I recognized from past events all over the country.

The Birthday Boy

Richard turned 34 on the 17th!

I thoroughly enjoyed the time I did get with Richard, and I have to admit that it was a generous share of his time, considering what he was there for. We celebrated his birthday on the 17^th. I had ordered a cake the day before, and it was scheduled to be delivered that morning, without him knowing. I set my alarm so that I could open the door before the delivery person knocked. I had to open the door over and over again (he was late) – but it finally paid off. I set up the cake, then got back into bed.

When Richard got up an hour later, he was very confused. There was the cake. There was the sleeping wife. How in the world??? I told him later that the room assistants were actually ninjas and had rappelled down from the ceiling to deliver the goods.

Cozumel, Mexico

Mayan ruins in Cozumel, Mexico

Cozumel, Mexico, was the first port we went to, and the only place that we did an official excursion. We went to visit some minor ruins on the island (not the big famous ones). They were pretty unremarkable, although we missed almost half of the tour because we were following a stranger. I thought the tour guide dismissed us to go explore on our own. So we meandered around, then followed what we thought was part of our group down a random path in the woods. We walked…and walked…and walked.

It was during that time that I could really feel the spiritual, feminine energy of the place. Apparently it was some kind of temple or something that women would come to for female issues. They would come if struggling with fertility, or if they were pregnant, etc. As we wandered down that obscure path, I could almost imagine other women walking there from another time, worrying over the same kinds of things people worry over today – things that I worry about.

But Richard pulled me from my reverie as he realized that we had gone too far and walked too long for this to be part of the approved tour. We backtracked and were reunited with our real group just as they were rounding the last bit of the ruins. Our guide was kind enough to detail all of the sites we missed. From the sound of things, we missed the most (only?) exciting parts of the tour.

Lizard at the ruins <photo by Richard>

It’s true. The ruins weren’t that impressive. They were, after all, ruins. They didn’t even have models or drawings to detail what they might have looked like back in their day. The written history included a lot of words like, "probably," "most likely," and "almost surely." Although I appreciated the verbal history our tour guide disclosed, I couldn’t help but notice that the tour guide one group over was giving a very different story. Hmmm…

As we toured the ruins, we were all like, “Meh.” But once we saw the ginormous lizards dotting the landscape, we were all like “Wo!!!!” And click click click went the cameras.

After the ruins, we went to a little restaurant on the coastline. There was a Mariachi band, the water was blue, and the food was great. But it was all a lie! We ate fajitas, and according to a Mexican native, they don’t even eat fajitas in Mexico. I bet they don’t pay $3 for a can of Sprite, either.

Enjoying lunch and a Mariachi band in Cozumel, Mexico.

Ocho Rios, Jamaica

View of Jamaica from the top of a mountain.

Cozumel was nice, but all in all, I felt like we couldn't get past that commercial barrier. I was disappointed. I hadn't seen the people or the culture - just the parts they gift-wrapped for tourists. I jokingly told Richard that I'd hoped to see the street kids and the dirty dogs.

Well, I totally ate my words two days later when we went into Jamaica.

When we got off the ship, we found someone to take us around by ourselves, instead of doing an excursion with a group. I was thrilled as we went right into the heart of things, driving through “a native neighborhood,” as the driver put it. But that was quickly replaced with a whole spectrum of other emotions as we drove.

The poverty was heartbreaking. Ten minutes into our visit, I just felt dirty and ashamed. I'd gotten into the real country, but I'd come in the wrong door.

Someone on stilts, hoping we'd stop and take a picture with him.

We drove up to the top of a mountain, where our driver intended to give us a good view. We drove past mobs of vendors that were anxious to sell their wares, or to have you take a picture with them in their wild costumes. We went through it in such a rush, we barely had time to say yes or no.

At the top of the mountain, there was a little outdoor restaurant and free wi-fi. Richard caught up on some emails while I sat and looked out over the country.

On one side, I could see the wide expanse of ocean in the distance, and the green jungle in between. On the other, I could see down the road we’d just travelled, and the hovels along the way. Outside the houses, I saw what I had first seen as vendors, vying for the attention of the tourists. But from my new point of view, I realized that these were families – very poor families – trying to make a living.

On the way back down the mountain, we saw them with new eyes. And yet still, we did not open our hands as generously as we could have. Again, it was all happening so fast. They came to us, asking us to buy this or that, and the driver yelled at them, “They don’t want that! They don’t want that!” And we sat there and let him take the lead. I watched the face of one man, a fire-eater, go from being open and friendly as he offered to let us take our picture with him, to melting into a look of despair as we passed by.

Immediately, I wanted to turn around – to go back and just give all my money away. But I didn’t. I swallowed that feeling over and over again, and looked forward instead. Sadly, Richard told me later that he’d had the same experience, but it had been a young boy on his side of the car, asking him to buy a bracelet. Richard had watched his face as we drove by, and he, too, expressed the same feelings that it would haunt him forever.

“I wanted to go back,” he said. We were so ashamed that we hadn’t.

After that, I was anxious to leave and get back to the ship. We cut our afternoon short, and I went straight to my room and cried for a good half hour. Richard and I talked about our experience in Jamaica for a long time, and I think there will always be things to say about that.

The Cayman Islands

When we went to the third and final port, I stayed away for the most part. I was feeling pretty out of place, after our tour of Jamaica. We just went to the end of the pier to see the water.

View of our ship, Cayman Islands <photo by Richard>

The ocean was clear, just as it had been at the other two ports. You could see straight to the bottom of the sea. Richard got in and swam, and has decided he prefers to not be able to see the bottom of what he’s swimming in; he felt a little paranoid about what he might see. But I’m the opposite; my imagination goes wild when I think about all the critters that could be sneaking up on me. My brain knows no bounds – it doesn’t matter if it’s a pond, river, ocean, or murky bath water. I easily conjure fears of snakes, sharks, jellyfish, piranhas – you name it.

The Lingering Taste of the Trip

I would rate the overall experience as a solid B-, which is an average of the boat’s B+, and the ports’ C- rating.

The boat was fun, but I realized about half way through that it simply wasn’t the way we like to do vacations. My ideal is a private cabin up in the mountains somewhere. Heck, even a tent with a nice fire and good book would be at least an A-. I just prefer to have a more quiet, private holiday.

As for the different ports, it was a watered down sample of each country at best. In order for me to really be satisfied, I think I would have to go live in a different country for a year. That way I could get fully steeped in the culture, the people, and the history. And I won’t be there as a spectator, but a fellow human being.

In all fairness, though, I think I would have had a totally different experience at the ports if I’d come with a different expectation. If I’d been primarily looking forward to the sites, and not the native flavors, then I think I would have been able to scratch that itch and found it a successful endeavor. For instance, if I’d gone to see the REAL Mayan ruins in Cozumel, and taken another route through Jamaica so I could have seen the falls, etc., then this would have been a different story altogether.

But that’s a theory that will just have to be tested some other time. Who knows; maybe that time will be next year, at the next annual Internet Marketers Cruise.

BONUS REEL!